Think you know everything about the stuff you pour? Take the Product Quiz and find out:
a) the rum plant.
c) Sweet ‘n’ Low.
2. Glendfiddich, Glenlivet & Macallan are three examples of:
a) names you should avoid giving to your male children if you don’t wish for them to get beat up on the playground.
b) Scottish guys you had to 86 from your bar after the last World Cup.
c) single malt scotch.
a) only in Jalisco, Mexico.
b) much like medical marijuana in grow-houses in California.
c) as a Speedy Gonzalez shaped Chia-Pet.
4. Irish Mist, Southern Comfort and Drambuie are all:
b) whiskey flavored liqueurs.
c) a great way to waste an evening.
a) “Very Sexy Old People.”
b) “Very Schnockered Obnoxious Person.”
c) “Very Special Old Pale.”
6. Gewurtztraminer, Muscat and Reisling are all:
a) Eurotrash bands.
b) characters from Tolken’s “The Lord of the Rings.”
c) wine growing regions in Iowa.
d) white wine grape varietals.
7. Old World wines are named by region because:
a) the winemakers feel the characteristics of the place (“terrior”) are the most vital influences on a wine rather than its grape of origin.
b) Europeans just like to show off how they know more about geography than we do.
c) the French find it entertaining to watch Americans sputter and stumble over pronunciation of their wine regions.
8. “Woodsy, yet clean, with defined notes of cedar and cherry on the palette, and a lively, smooth finish,” is an example of:
a) a description of a cabin on the Finger Lakes you came across on a vacation rentals website.
b) a pompous wine taster’s notes.
c) something a street schizophrenic would mutter at random.
a) A cologne by Faberage.
b) A dry champagne.
c) A large, ill-tempered oaf.
10. If George Thorogood ordered “one bourbon, one scotch and one beer,” nine times at your bar, how much would his tab be?