Invasion of the Vending Machines

Fellow Drink Slingers Beware:   We are being replaced by vending machines in the state of Pennsylvania!

Yes, it’s true, the Pennsylvania Liquor Control Board (2nd only to the State of Utah for Panties in a Wad-level stringency of liquor laws,) has developed, approved and launched two wine vending machines which are currently being tested at grocery stores.  If sales prove to be successful, the state plans to roll a total of 100 of these babies out by this fall.

If you are old enough to remember cigarette vending machines (if you don’t, then you are  too young to be reading this blog,) perhaps you recall all the hoopla over unregulated tobacco sales to minors which ultimately was the demise of the pin ball pull lever cancer stick dispensers.  Pennsylvania skirts this controversy first by installing a driver’s license swipe mechanism on the vending machine then backing it up with a instant video verification provided live by a member of the state’s control board.  And just to ensure they’ve completely covered their tee-totaling asses, the machines are outfitted with breathalyzers into which the now verified over 21 patron must blow less than 0.02 or below 1/4 of the legal blood alcohol limit.

I’d like to see them install one of these babies at Don’s Place package store.  It would be like a free breathalyzer game, more popular than billiards or even Photo Hunt!

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One response to “Invasion of the Vending Machines

  1. I wonder how they’re going to handle all the mouthpieces that’ll be required for the breathalyzer part? And staffing the state control board that will monitor the video feed? And turning the machines on and off to comply with local blue laws?

    None of those are insurmountable….but if I were a resident of the state I’d wonder by the government is paying to develop those services and not having it handled by a private firm. Unless maybe they see it as a potential source of revenue?

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